Digging Deep With Sam And Kent

It’s quite funny how the things I least expect are the ones that stay with me for quite awhile.

 

I previously mentioned that ‘Before I Fall’ is the least likely film I’d watch. If I’d seen the trailer before picking it up, I would have surely thought: ‘Oh…that was THAT film…’ — and just move on to other films.

 

Now here I am months later after falling into the rabbit hole (okay maybe ‘visit’ rather than ‘fall’ is a better term), and I’m still finding out things to explore. That is after reading (leafing through then eventually reading more and more bits) the book, writing a pilot pitch (I’m in the process of updating the next draft), having an iteration of Kent appearing in a post about finding the right connections, and three tracks will eventually appear in 2017’s album release (TBA for link and track details).

 

The post that triggered yet another exploration is this one about ‘the heart‘. I found it while sending a fellow writer some questions I think I should be asking while in the process of finding the best version of my pilot pitch.

 

Then I started to wonder about the kind of stories that have pulled me in:

  • Homeland – Carrie continually trying to find her best self (through lots of frustrations and betrayals) while adding value to the world in doing what she does best (unearth terror plots). I initially thought it was the storytelling (which I realise is of course common in stories I feel drawn to), and not I’m reminded that it’s a surface thing, that there’ll always be something that runs deeper that keeps me watching.
  • The Good Wife – How dangerous it is to sit on the fence, and not make a decision. Which means you’ll likely lose out on something special. Alicia has made a number of decisions through the 7 seasons of the show, but seem to hesitate to make ones relating to her marriage (stay or go?).
  • Better Call Saul – what’s it like when you don’t have your suit of armour yet? It now makes it easier to see why ‘Better Call Saul’ would appeal to me more than ‘Breaking Bad’…it’s because the characters in ‘Breaking Bad’ mostly had their ‘suit of armour’ (for Jimmy it was having ‘Saul Goodman’ as his persona). Another thing I enjoy about the show is Jimmy coming up with different (creative) solutions to the challenges life throws at him.
  • Rectify – Daniel journeys to find himself (while getting out of his self-destructive mindset because he has let other people define who he is…which sometimes makes him blind to the people who care for him and who are willing to give him a leg up) and understand that he is worthy.

 

 

As for Sam and Kent. I think there is something magical about having someone in your life who is able to tell you (without fear) that you are better than what you’re doing right now. Someone who’s able to give you a different (usually more helpful) perspective on events.

 

Here’s an exchange from the film:

Sam: Is that the one we used to sit in?

[Kent looks behind him at the trees outside his window. He smiles and nods]

Kent: Yeah. Yeah we did.

[He looks back at the trees again]

Kent: Do you uh…remember climbing up it? And then you jumped out and sprained your ankle?

Sam: I was stupid.

Kent: It was very ambitious

 

Sam certainly has gone through something slightly different than Daniel (though still brings it’s own trauma), so I think that’s one of the things that I wanted to explore (other than: ‘well I just wanted to know what happens to Sam and Kent when they are both 44’) was how she would get over ‘not being good enough’, particularly as Kent’s life partner.

 

As with the saying ‘jokes contain a modicum of truth in them’, I’m keen to apply that perspective in future viewings (and readings!), not only to help understand what goes on in my head a bit better — also connect better the people I cross paths with….so I can approach incidents like this much better than I have in the past.

 

Are there specific TV Shows (or films) that reflect the things about yourself that you are currently exploring? Tweet it out to me at @LeighLim (Or you can reply to this, this, this, or this)

 


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The Best Thing For Today And Tomorrow

Do I want to spend two hours and be heard by 5 people or 300?

 

I would have thought my daily choices point to the latter (thereby leveraging my time). But after a quick audit of my activities, I still have a tendency to pick broadcasting to 5 over 300.

 

While watching a documentary earlier today…I got a stark reminder that I am one of those drivers Danny Kahneman was talking about. The scenario was that even if Taxi Drivers know that they get more passengers during rainy days vs sunny days, they don’t make it a point to work more hours on rainy days (and take a day off during sunny days). What’s worse, is the Taxi Drivers stop working once they hit their daily goal (which is the same during sunny days) even when there are tons more earning opportunities.

 

So, in addition to my daily time tracking sheets — I am aiming to pause every few hours to ask the question: ‘Should I continue? Or do I need to pivot?’

 

I know it’s a different scenario for the Notes of Encouragement (which is personalised…and I aim to send each an every one of them myself). But for the Q&A and building the mailing list. There’s an option of guest posting, rather than spending my time on Twitter interacting with individual tweets that are amusing or engaging.

 

Put in another way by Charles Duhigg: “Productivity is not about doing things unthinkingly. Productivity is about pushing yourself to think more about the things that matter…We know that the people who are most productive tend to spend more time thinking about what their priorities ought to be. Instead of getting into their office and just automatically answering emails, and then working on their expenses, and then returning phone calls. Instead of going on auto-pilot….What the most productive people do is they sit down and they say: ‘Okay look, I know I did that yesterday, but is that the best use of my time today?’

 

 

 

Additional Readings:

 

 

Note: The Battle In Your Mind is available for purchase if you’re looking for viewing for your conference attendees.

 


Did this post spark something that you’d like to talk about more? Go for it! Send me a quick note so I can learn about your bumpy (yet exciting!) adventures.

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The Gain

I just realised that I’ve let myself fall for the Sunk Cost Fallacy, after noticing that I spend more time than I should (not more than a second!) holding on to specific connections.

 

…human beings—even rational ones—have a limited capacity to remember the original reasoning behind their decisions. If that capacity is exceeded, the information could be lost—so we need a mental placeholder that can remind us of why we decided something…” – K Podcast

 

 

Two things seem to be the root of ‘my hope’ of getting back the time I’ve invested in each person:

  • I would finally figure out what kind of value I can bring – 10% likely
  • Might end up as part of my five – 3% likely

 

It took a conversation with a fellow Elementary viewer to jolt a reminder (yes like an indirect accountability partner!) effective enough to make me take notice that I am focusing on the pain (I’ve already invested hours in getting to know the person and you want me to just throw it away!?) rather than the gain (thinking of what I’ve learned from the failed connections so I can best serve the right people, by spending 0 seconds on the wrong people).

 

 

Additional Readings:

 

 

 


Did this post spark something that you’d like to talk about more? Go for it! Send me a quick note so I can learn about your bumpy (yet exciting!) adventures.

Wait…

Was it was an action!?

Better do that first before sending me that note!

First time visiting? It’ll be great if you head here after reading. 🙂

 

Comments: You’ll have to reach out to me via Google+ (click on the hangout button), Youtube (when you’re logged in, and on this page, a ‘message’ button would pop up), or Tumblr (visit any one of my pages, and there would be a button for you to click on (the one with the smiley face!) that would make a new window pop-up for you to send me a message…or multiple ones…) to let me know that you are keen on posting a comment. At the moment, WordPress has this weird comment system that uses cookies from other sites, so until they fix it that only cookies come from within the domain…I am unable to view new comments when they come in.